9 Lives

I am pretty sure Christian thinks he is a cat.  With 9 lives.  Writing those words actually sends my heart into panic mode.  If it is in fact true that he is feline...he has already used 3 of his 9 lives.  The red wagon incident, once when he feel out of the cart at BabiesRUs and he landed on his head so hard the lady behind the counter almost puked, and Sunday when he escaped out the front door of our church, ran across the road(yes, the road) into the arms of another mother.  I know you are thinking, parents of the year.  But, he did this is 1.5 seconds.  Yes, we will be the only parents at church with a leash on our son.  Most parents are worried how their child will be learning or how they will feel going to Kindergarten, I worry that he won't make it to the class every day or worse, won't make it back home.

That only leaves 6 lives left.  The only problem seems to be that I am in fact not a cat.  I don't have extra lives laying around when he decides to give me a heart attack.  I know that some parents stand over their child's bed praying for fame or fortune or friends or freedom to be what God has made them.  I stand over his bed and pray for fear.  Dear God, please teach Christian to open his eyes to the things around him, I am very proud of him for being about to ride his bike, but please make him put his head up to see what is coming in front of him.  Please let him understand that if he decides to fight with a 2 ton piece of moving metal...he will lose...everytime.  Please make him stop jumping from everything and anything, screaming...To Infinity and Beyond.  I don't want him to find out where Beyond is...please give him a fear of the water, things that cut, things that have wheels, tracks, and a loud whistle.  God, please teach my son that he is not Superman or Buzz Lightyear and he cannot fly, no matter how hard he tries.  We will never own a trampoline, pool, or a motorcycle.  I have tried to change my parenting to cater to the every growing thing that he explores, but I have come to the conclusion...it isn't a parenting issue.  The more locks and bolts I buy, the more he gets through them or chooses a more dangerous activity.  Callie doesn't do these things.  She has a healthy fear of things that could hurt her, listens when Mommy explains why you can or can't do something, she stays close by at the store, and doesn't keep me up at night worrying if she is going to be jumping off a bridge at 16 just because it seems fun. 

There is part of him that I know can't help it.  He has a sensory disorder which causes him to have a high tolerance for pain.  If he cries because he is hurt...he is really hurt.  Lots of sensory kids have an adversion to things, Christian is just the opposite. He craves sensory stimulation.  His disorder also causes him to seek sensory fulfilling things, like putting random things in his mouth past the normal age for this, turning on the water and getting into it without noticing if it is too hot or too cold, jumping onto and off of things, running as fast as he can without looking to see where he is going.  We have done a lot of research about sensory issues and are very thankful we have gotten him(and us) help very early on.  It explains a lot of things that most people would think are behavior issues or just part of his personality.  And while it does explain a lot, it doesn't excuse him from making wise choices or me from providing a safe environment.  It does help when the teacher wonders why he is the only kid in the class who won't keep on his shoes or takes his chips and puts them on the ground so he can stop on them...you know...so he can feel how they feel on his feet.  Annoying for sure, but at least we understand why he would think(or not think, more of an impluse or a scratch he can't itch) to do something like that.  We have the best support team between his pre-school teacher and his OT and are learning so much to help him naviagate through.  This will be so important for his teachers to understand sensory disorders.  Lots of kids who have been labeled ADHD really have sensory issues, so we will be watching it for sure once he goes to school.  It has been challenging for sure, and it is hard to think that he will always have it.  Once he stops doing a certain behavior, he will just pick up another one.  To be honest, I am really ready for him to move past the changing clothes 100s of times a day phase.  We move from one phase to another trying to guide him to appropriate behaviors while letting him get the sensory imput he craves.  It is trial and error and ever changing as he changes, encounters new things, and drops other behaviors.  So, the fact that he has a high pain tolerance, no fear, and craves sensory imput is a combo to make this mama's hair very gray.  Our OT did give us some good news, she said by year 7, they have outgrown most of the sensory issues or at least learned how to live with them.

So basically, my 3 year old adrenaline junky has four more years...I hope he uses his extra lives wisely...