I Will Not Take My Job For Granted

To be honest, this has been a tough couple of weeks.  Snowed in for a week, quick trip to FL, and holding a toddler with a 105 fever for 4 days straight has taken a toll on this mama.  I have always had my life pretty much under control.  My house might be messy, but it wasn't dirty.  Give me 15 mins and you would hardly notice the stuffed closet doors hiding all the junk.  Yes, I can fly by the seat of my pants like the best of them and most of the time you would never know it, but it seems the seat of my pants is in the ever growing dirty clothes pile exposing my growing bum.  I seem to have lost my way in the last several weeks which just seems to have taken me into a funk.  I wake up every day claiming that I am taking my life back and then something more important seems to creep or jerk me into another direction. 

Well, maybe that is the point...that this is my life...them...the little people...my job...to be their mom come what may or may not. 

I want to remind myself not to take my job for granted.  When I want to run away or hide under the covers and pretend like this isn't really my life, I am reminded that while there are some moms who are thankful they don't have my crazy life.  I am reminded more often that there are even more moms who would trade places with me in a second.  Every so often there are those things that just shake you to the core.  Recently, one of my really good friend's family buried their 4 yr cousin named Christian because of a horrible accident.  Of course the mom's name just happens to be Jennifer.  Even though I don't know them since they are extended family of my friends, seeing your son's name and the words horrible accident and he didn't make it all in the same sentence took my breath away.  I hope I am able to be reminded often by her story that we need to live in the moment, focus on the stuff that matters, and lighten up a little...I am sure she would do anything right now to be cleaning up pee off the train table and purple paint off the floor. 

I know for sure I will have many more days when I feel stretched, weary and want to complain, but I will not take my job for granted.

I will not take for granted that there are moms who wish their child could hold a paint brush when I find gobbs of purple paint on my carpet.

I will not take for granted that there are moms a couple doors down from me in the ER at Children's Hospital that wish all their precious little girl had was a 105 fever. 

I will not take for granted all of my exhaustion, curves, and symptoms as I am reminded of all of the empty wombs and moms longing for a family. 

I will not take for granted that there are moms who wish they could just take their two toddlers for a well visit and all they leave with is frustration with how they ripped up all the paper on the table instead of with a referral for some specialist. 

I will not take for granted that there are moms who wish they could hear little feet coming down the hall at 3am just one more time.

I will not take for granted the look on the wide eyed moms faces at the special needs office coming in for the first time to get their child evaluated, while my child gets the all clear.

I will not take for granted all of the "you have your hands full" comments as a empty handed mom looks on from the table next to us. 

I will not take for granted the endless Mommy, Mommy, Mommy as I watched a Mom with longing eyes in the waiting room at the speech office for her son to connect with her at any level.

I will not take for granted all the wiped noses, dried tears, and changed sheets...
because it is my job...and I love it...because I love them. 

But, even more than that...Superman and Miss Sassy are depending on me to show up to work everyday.