Working for the Weekend

When I worked 60 hours a week, I used to work for the weekend. Counting down the hours until Friday at 5. That way, my "real" life could begin. Sleeping in, dinner parties, movies(oh, how I miss going to the movies), and basically anything Gregg and I wanted to do. But, once I left and worked for 12Stone, the weekend was work. And now, that I am a Mom, the weeks just run together with no real start and stop. The kids don't understand the exhale that adults take every Friday evening to say...all in a week's work. I actually love working...the thrill of the chase of a candidate, the negotiation of insurance benefits, and best of all you can measure your success. You can make a list and tackle those projects and if you are good enough, there are even pats on the back for a job well done. I think that is where the blur begins with being a stay at home mom. It is a job without a scale. You can arm yourself with the best ideas, books, toys, resources, doctors, schools, etc. and still will not know the outcome until you are sitting in the counselors office many years later. There is no right or wrong way to provide for your family. There is only the "best" way to provide for "your" family. And for us, that has changed several times in the last two years. And with every change, I question myself again. I had to go to work on the way to the hospital on Christian's birth day at 5am to finish payroll, and then had to bring him to work with me the next week to process all the paperwork for benefit renewal. As I looked under my desk at my sleeping newborn baby, I was thinking this isn't how I imagined it. I think you just do what you have to do. So, for now, I have to take a break. Working 22 hours a week with no childcare options could only last so long. So, I just finished a 7 month contract and to that I am taking an exhale. And for that, I am grateful...but I know myself too well that it is always subject to change.

This is what happens when Mommy trys to work...