I am just a girl trying to matter to God, my husband, my kids, family and friends. Sometimes I hop two steps forward and crawl one step back or even have to make a twirl to get back on track. But, I hope to give more than I take and have some fun along the way. Stop by for a couple of dances and cut in when you can.
I met Gregg when I was 17 and have been madly in love with him ever since. He is selfless, works really hard, and will do anything for anyone. He really is “that” nice all the time and he makes me a better person. He loves anything outdoors and runs like Forrest any chance he gets. He makes a mean bbq, dances with the kids to Elmo, and leaves cards for us to find all over the house. He is everything I could have ever dreamed of, and I am so proud to be his wife.
Mr. Christian has bluest eyes and is full of life. He is “all boy” and jumps from one adventure to the next. He loves trains, watermelon, and his blankie. He is polite, kind, and has tons of charisma with his little grin. He is a great big brother and gives in to girls more than they deserve. He is Daddy’s little buddy and the joy of my heart.
Miss Callie is everything I ever dreamed up in a little girl. She is about everything and everybody and never sits still. She loves all things girly, babies, mommy’s cell phone, pink, and her pillow. She has a laugh that starts in her toes and will melt you with her smile. She dances through our house in princess dresses with a pen and pad in her hand. She is mama’s little helper and Daddy’s Sweet Pea.
Cate is the icing on the cake. God knew she would be the perfect compliment to our family. She loves necklaces, animals, and her loveys. She has just enough girly to hang with Callie at her tea parties, but already shows a special bond with her big brother loving his superheros. She is a typical third child getting whatever she wants with those deep dimples of hers.
I bought something for the new baby. A blanket with polka dots of course. Now if I could just find out what that baby is..I would run to the monogrammer right now. Why is that such a big deal you ask to buy a present for the baby to be? Most pregnant moms buy things for the new baby. But, not 10 week along moms that have had a miscarriage. When are you far enough along not to worry? No matter how much I try to put it out of my mind, or how many times I fear going to the bathroom, or the fact that it makes me nervous to hit post on this blog post for fear of gushing blood, it is still a fact that I lost a baby. It will never leave me, it will not make this pregnancy easy or relaxing or taken for granted. It just is what it is. Unfortunately, every one in this club knows what this feels like. It is the reason I didn't bond with Callie right away, I just didn't believe that I could have a baby. Yes, I was pregnant. Yes, I felt her kicking me all the way up to my throat. Yes, I birthed her. But, it still took several days for it to sink in that yes, I believe. I believe that God loves me enough to give me the desires of my heart. I believe that I am good enough. I believe that I am worthy of answered prayer. I believe that God is still in the miracle business. So, I decided this pregnancy, I am going to believe a little earlier. I am going to embrace it and hold on to see what or who is on the other end. I am going to believe that everything is going to be OK. I believe that God answers prayer. I believe that I am good enough. I believe that God loves this baby more than me, so at 10 weeks, I am going to believe.
30 more weeks to go.
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Such a beautiful post, Jennifer. I am praying for peace in your heart and a wonderful pregnancy as I type. You are so right, it is hard to let go and just trust Him, but I have always found peace in knowing He already knows and will not leave or forsake me or you. So excited about your third little blessing. Can't wait to read all about you new adventures as a mommy of 3.
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